(DISCLAIMER: The written speech below is not from the words of Barack Obama, but from Steven Joseph Christopher.)

Ladies and gentlemen, I think most everyone is familiar with the phrase "the truth is stranger than fiction", well this certainly applies here, in this scenario. There's a very special person here that I'd like to introduce, or rather re-introduce, for that matter, however, this time, instead of him being scorned at, with contempt, it is my desire to exonerate him publicly, and no less deem him The Savior for humanity.

It took a few cosmic and supernatural events for me to finally see the light, where I was, and am fully convinced, that this person is the Person we've all been, either consciously or subconsciously, waiting for. For hundreds, even thousands of years, we've been indoctrinated with a false perception of reality that permeated all facets of our everyday life, and he's here to teach us, to show us a new and more accurate way of understanding. The human race, with it's many ingenious intellectuals and their impressive inventions, have neglected one very important foundational aspect necessary for discovering truth in it's purest form. We've lacked the ability to see through sacred, perspicacious eyes, and for the longest time, we as a culture, scientifically, have accepted error as truth. Some of the most basic tenets of science have been flawed and remained flawed, because the system we've adopted as a culture refused to allow real truth from escaping, we bought into it, hook, line and sinker. What has been furtively and clandestinely hidden by our Creator, is that in the discovery of a matter, what's obscured from the initial, plain-sighted survey, is usually an opposite and inverted, more accurate explanation. No one until this point, with the intelligence to realize our error and the tenacity and courage to call out our error publicly, was willing to suffer the mockery, scorn and humiliation from the self-established majority of philosophers of scientific reason. These apparently foundational beliefs that we've all adopted as truth, have flooded our textbooks, our scientific journals, and our scientific minds. As a government agency such as NASA, we've had no real opportunity, until now, to disclose the truth of our universe to you all, because it was,... I wanna say divinely reserved for this particular individual to disclose.

So, to quote a certain biblical passage here, from the book of Proverbs is, I think, quite appropriate, and it goes something along these lines ..... "There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end thereof leads to death." But, really, I am quite humbly honored to be the president at this impetus juncture in time of human history. To be the man to help usher in this new and perfect form of Government, a spiritually and physically liberating form of Government. This Government has been prophetically echoed to be an imminent reality, especially in the oppressed hearts of those earnestly awaiting freedom, righteousness and peace. He's here to show us the Promised Land, to actually and literally take us there, and that land is Australia. He fulfills the prophecy in the book of Isaiah where it mentions that the Government will be upon his shoulders.

Remember I ran on the ticket with the buzz word, Change, well this change is, quite frankly more than I could have ever imagined or dreamed of. A change in which I welcome, with open arms, being glad and relieved, that I am not the individual to carry this new Government on my shoulders, because quite honestly, my back would break. I humbly realize and recognize my limitations.

This speech will become etched in human history as the speech that ended all politically motivated and rhetorically mundane speeches. This is the proverbial train-wreck, the jaw-dropping, let-the-glass-out-out-your-hand-and-shatter-to-the-floor, speeches. Really, I'm just the set-up man, the Ed McMahon, here to buffer you as much as possible.

Four days prior to my inauguration back in January of 'O9, most of the world became instantly aware of an individual who became infamous literally overnight. He concocted a bluffed threat on my life, via the internet. His name is Steven Joseph Christopher and many, if not all of us were quick to draw inaccurate conclusions .... some said it was a racially—motivated threat, some, if not all, deemed him as mentally unstable and wrote him off as some crazy person. However, I think from Steven's vantage point, he felt as though he had to make some sort of impact to get people's attention. He knew who he was personally and what leading role he played in humanity, but could not seem to convince anyone else. For years prior, he had been arduously attempting to convey his message and doctrine via internet conspiracy message boards. To many in his circle, he became a sort of cult-hero who was bold enough to put himself on the front-line and address and confront the most taboo of theories and scenarios. His controversial and unorthodox ideas and beliefs were for the most part, at least publicly, not accepted by the establishment. He realized the only way to get world attention, in order to save the world, was to do something, or say something shocking enough for people to take notice, even if it meant in a negative light. So he made himself an open target, he actually advertised his mock threat of assassination of me. He sacrificed his freedom, took a chance that maybe one day, we as a people would be spiritually aware enough to figure him out, and not simply cast judgment upon him.

He actually is extraordinarily gifted, he possesses an exceptionally bright, intuitive and creative mind. He's also a prolific artist. He has the innate ability to keenly see through the veil of deceit that has been cast upon humanity, and has been patiently waiting for us to catch up to his illuminative understanding.

I am honestly honored though, to be the President of the United States at this critical juncture in human history, to be actually preordained and divinely chosen as the man to introduce to the world, the actual and literal Messiah, and this one's the real one folks, ladies and gentlemen, I give you …………………Mr. Steven Joseph Christopher!

(APPLAUSE)

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